We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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