i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize