Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize