so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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