Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
