is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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