Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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