do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
