I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
