Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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