Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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