It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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