he wants to bone in the snuggie
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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