Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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