My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
