I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
