yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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