Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
