I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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