haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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