just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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