you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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