Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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