How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
