went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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