I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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