White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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