Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
