Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
only you would photoshop your dick
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
