are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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