The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just blew my weed a kiss
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
