fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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