you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
