Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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