Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
