But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
