i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My dick has a subreddit
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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