Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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