I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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