Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
