Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
