great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
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Enjoy the penises
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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