me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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