Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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