dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize