I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
