Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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