Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
