There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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