sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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