Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
