i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
