I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
