wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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