all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
