the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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