Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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