do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
