omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
