Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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