Just fell off a train. Bad.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
