Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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