Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I can text with my tongue
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
