have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
