so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize