He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
