dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
