I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
