I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
