it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
