oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
