garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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