Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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