Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
