Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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