4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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